Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
