"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
