i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
