Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
