you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
