I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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