I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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