last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize