im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
