i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
