After last night, I could never be a politician.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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