shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
