Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
