New invention idea: vibrating tampons
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
