I want to make a zoo with you.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
