I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
There r osticjed everywhere
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
