Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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