he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
