I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
love makes seman taste better
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
