shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
My day in three words: secret purse cake
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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