i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
