well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
