There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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