it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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