The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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