she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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