if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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