People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
