Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
no you cant smoke seaweed
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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