Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
oh god was she eating orange peels again
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
