just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize