its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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