Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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