So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
my poor anus
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Randomize
