I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
