It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
