Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
