You made me cry and you don't even care
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
