I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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