So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
