i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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