dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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