what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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