How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
