I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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