Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
