I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
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