I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
