She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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