i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I believe in your delicious
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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