its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
