If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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