I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I still have a little drunk in my system
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
