Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
this will be a night to untag.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
