She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
