Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
